Growing up I always told my mom I was going to be a missionary in China. My mom was telling me a story the other day about when I was about four I took a bunch of these leggo baby wipe boxes we had (you could stack them on top of each other like leggos and they held the wipes, how cool is that?) and had them all sitting in front of me and I was trying to stuff a bunch of my stuff into the boxes. My mom walks into my room while I'm doing this and asks me "Hannah what are you doing?" and I replied "Mom, I'm packing," she simply asked me what I was packing for and I told her "I'm going to China. I'm going to be a missionary there and tell people about God." After my mom was finished telling me this story, I told her how amazing it is that even at that age I knew what God wanted me to do. It's just the years in between that and my 8th grade year I forgot completely about that calling.
Now that I'm almost grown up, I know for a fact that God wants me to be a missionary. Not to China, but to the US. Because it seems to me that the US is starting to need missionaries more than China. Dont get me wrong, every nation needs missionaries, but when countries like China start sending missionaries to the US, thats when we know we have a problem. We have missionaries from different countries that are being sent to us. They're teaching us how to become missionaries in our own country, but do we listen? Not enough of us do.
Honestly, do we really even need a missionary to come all the way from China to tell us what we already know? Our country needs us. The people here need us. The communities need us. Why is it that so many Christians just sit around praying for other people to reach out to the people that are right next to them? Yes prayer is great, and yes it can do amazing amazing things. But what good is prayer if we dont 1) mean it, 2) live it, and 3) do something about what we're praying for. If we start praying for the church's money situation, if they're trying to get out of debt, but we dont give our tithes joyfully and perpetually then what good does praying for it do? Yes I know sometimes it's hard to give because of financial situations. Trust me, I know that. But honestly, why is it that we sit on our butts and do nothing, when even the slightest bit of help from us, could change everything.
My new favorite song is I Refuse by Josh Wilson. It's also been my prayer for me to not just stand and watch, but to get out there and start being that missionary I'm called to be. Here are the lyrics.
Sometimes I, I just want to close my eyes And act like everyone’s alright When I know they’re not. This world needs God But it’s easier to stand and watch. I could pray a prayer and just move on Like nothing’s wrong. But I refuse. ‘Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care. I don’t want to say another empty prayer. Oh, I refuse to Sit around and wait for someone else To do what God has called me to do myself. Oh, I could choose Not to move but I refuse. I can hear the least of these Crying out so desperately, And I know we are the hands and feet Of you, oh God. So, if you say move, Then it’s time for me to follow through, And do what I was made to do. Show them who you are. 'Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care. I don’t want to say another empty prayer. Oh, I refuse to Sit around and wait for someone else To do what God has called me to do myself. Oh, I could choose Not to move but I refuse. To stand and watch The weary and lost Cry out for help. I refuse To turn my back And try and act like all is well. I refuse To stay unchanged, To wait another day, To die to myself. I refuse To make one more excuse.‘Cause I don’t want to live like I don’t care. I don’t want to say another empty prayer. Oh, I refuse to Sit around and wait for someone else To do what God has called me to do myself. Oh, I could choose Not to move but I refuse.
Amazing song, right? If you havent listened to it, do it. It will become your favorite song. It's so true for my life right now, I'm so tired of living like I dont care. Tired of praying that someone else will go out and witness, when in reality, we're all called to be witnesses, and to make disciples. So why dont we do it? Are we scared of rejection? Christ was rejected!
I recently got a tattoo, during the tattoo I was in so much pain, but I just kept praying "God please take some of this pain away" and he would a little bit but at the same time he would reply saying "I suffered for you, so you can suffer for me" Which hearing that made getting this tattoo so much easier, because whats the whole reason I got it. A sign of worship, a way to witness. It's so cool how in times like that God can really speak to you.
I dont know about you guys, but I'm tired of waiting for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself. Lets get out there and start doing what God has called us to do.
In Christ,
Hannah
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Community
Why is it so hard for me to just go out into my community and talk to people? I need to be going to coffee shops, malls, parks, my school, anywhere that there's people and just sit and read my Bible and talk to the people around me. Why is that so hard for me to do? I guess I'm just lazy. Right now I'm sitting here on the verge of tears because I'm just so frustrated with myself. I've been wanting to get involved with my community for such a long time. I had never seen before how much this community needs Christ until I started actually becoming apart of the community. I had no idea until I started working, and going to college here.
Ever since I went to San Diego a couple summers back I've wanted to just get involved with the community. My church has been awesome with that, but I havent even been getting involved with what the church has been doing. I'm so mad at myself for it too. I think to myself "no I'm just gonna sleep in, I really need to rest" but the thing is....lately, I've only been getting a couple hours at work a week. The rest of the time I'm either at home, at my friend Laura's house, or church. Not out in the community, not trying to get to know people. I really need to be doing that. I start school on tuesday, I'm honestly really looking forward to this semester. My psychology professor is a christian, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how she teaches, but I'm also really excited about just being able to go up to the school and sit there, study, talk to people, and read my Bible. I know I probably said all of this last semester, but I'm making it a point to do that. I'm just tired of sitting on my butt all the time doing nothing for the Kingdom of God. As I write this, I wish I was sitting in a coffee house instead of my bedroom. So you know what I'm going to do tonight? Go to a coffee house. Probably starbucks cause that's closest to my house.
My work schedule is different every week. It's hard to pick two or three nights a week to go and sit at a coffee house for a couple hours, but i'm going to try to commit to it. Sitting here thinking about it, I dont normally work on Monday nights, I'm going to commit to skipping the bachelor and going to a coffee house after dinner to just sit and read God's word, or study, or write papers, whatever I need to do that night. The second night a week I think will be Thursday's or Friday's depending on when I work.
It's going to be a tough semester, but I'm really looking forward to getting out there and starting to get to know the community I live in. I'm gonna go eat some dinner and go to starbucks.
In Christ,
Hannah
Ever since I went to San Diego a couple summers back I've wanted to just get involved with the community. My church has been awesome with that, but I havent even been getting involved with what the church has been doing. I'm so mad at myself for it too. I think to myself "no I'm just gonna sleep in, I really need to rest" but the thing is....lately, I've only been getting a couple hours at work a week. The rest of the time I'm either at home, at my friend Laura's house, or church. Not out in the community, not trying to get to know people. I really need to be doing that. I start school on tuesday, I'm honestly really looking forward to this semester. My psychology professor is a christian, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how she teaches, but I'm also really excited about just being able to go up to the school and sit there, study, talk to people, and read my Bible. I know I probably said all of this last semester, but I'm making it a point to do that. I'm just tired of sitting on my butt all the time doing nothing for the Kingdom of God. As I write this, I wish I was sitting in a coffee house instead of my bedroom. So you know what I'm going to do tonight? Go to a coffee house. Probably starbucks cause that's closest to my house.
My work schedule is different every week. It's hard to pick two or three nights a week to go and sit at a coffee house for a couple hours, but i'm going to try to commit to it. Sitting here thinking about it, I dont normally work on Monday nights, I'm going to commit to skipping the bachelor and going to a coffee house after dinner to just sit and read God's word, or study, or write papers, whatever I need to do that night. The second night a week I think will be Thursday's or Friday's depending on when I work.
It's going to be a tough semester, but I'm really looking forward to getting out there and starting to get to know the community I live in. I'm gonna go eat some dinner and go to starbucks.
In Christ,
Hannah
Saturday, January 15, 2011
My prayer tonight while i sit in my car on break:
God, i really want be living for you while i'm in school and working. But i dont know what you want me to do. Honestly, i dont know what you want me to be doing with my life period. Show me the way you want me to go. What you want me to do with my life. I know you want me to do missions, but i feel so blind as to what kind of missions. God i also want to pray right now for the men that are around me every day, and the men that i will get to know in the future. Help them grow in you. And help them become spiritual leaders with their family's and even friends. Guide them in the way you want them to go. God, right now i want to specifically lift up john to you. He's having a rough time with his family, and with leaving for afghanistan in february. Keep him safe and close to you. Thank you God for everything you do for me on a daily basis. Amen.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Work, Weddings, and Home
These last two weeks have been absolutely crazy. Last weekend Erin came in town, which was awesome! We had a blast! Once she left on Sunday I started studying for my final that was on Wednesday (got a B in the class. So excited about that!). I've been working a LOT these last few weeks, which has been really stressful for me with school, and just trying to find time for friends and church. I had to ask off work last minute for today because well...my brother and his fiance got married.
Ellen, my brother's fiance, had been repainting, my brother, Parker's room this week when on Wednesday she gets a call from him saying "I get to come home Friday night. Lets get married on Saturday!" (for those of you who dont know, my brother is in the Marines and has been in San Diego and Virginia the last few months for training) So we got to throw a wedding together in two days. The wedding was this morning, it was beautiful even without much planning. Very small and intimate, but all the close friends and family showed up which was awesome!
Although today was AMAZING, this afternoon/evening have been really tough on me. Part of it is being tired, another part of it is just everything else thats going on in my head. Right now I'm sitting here thinking of what to write, with my eyelids trying to close on me, but me fighting them open, along with fighting back tears. It's really tough to do if I do say so myself. I'm sitting here in my room, thinking about what it really means to have a home. This summer while I was in Colorado I really learned that a home really isnt a house, where you and your family live. It's a community; many hearts coming together as one. Its a place where it doesnt matter your background, or where you're at now, it's just a place with love and compassion that you can go to no matter what. I worked in a homeless shelter in Colorado. I feel like the men and women I served in that shelter have more of a home than I do. I honestly dont feel like this is my home anymore. Maybe it's because my family has changed so much this last year, and that's made it tough on me. But honestly, the closest thing to a home I've had these last two years, was when I was in San Diego. I never feel more at home than when I'm in that city.
It's been really stressful this last year with parents deciding to get a divorce, them putting the house on the market, them deciding to give it one more shot, taking the house off the market, them trying to work things out and just making the whole thing terribly awkward, James and Juliette and the kids moving to Tulsa, my youngest (but still older than me) brother joining the Marines which will be moving him all over the place, and now him getting married, and the two of them going to be moving wherever he gets stationed. My family is slowly being torn apart. Part of me feels like my parents really arent trying to figure things out and they're just trying to stick together until I move out. It doesnt feel like a home. It feels like an apartment complex where we just pass by each other every day and say hey how are you, and thats it. It's not us connecting, or us being one heart like a family should be.
I'm trying to stay strong and stay in The Word but it's been really hard for me lately. I haven't been able to figure out what I want to read, so I just get frustrated and end up not reading. I want to read and grow, but I have no one here challenging me to do so or helping me figure out what to read. I really wish I could find someone to read the same thing every week with. It's tough when you're friends you actually talk about spiritual stuff live states away so its hard for you to find time to do that with them.
So all in all it's been a tough night. But i've been able to end it with a glass of Champagne with my brother, new sister, and mom and dad, so it ended up being a good end to a night after all...still wish I felt like I was at home though. I miss being home. I feel so homesick. Be praying for me, that this feeling passes, and that I learn to just lean on God in these times when I'm struggling with being homesick, and not knowing where to go next.
In Christ,
Hannah
Ellen, my brother's fiance, had been repainting, my brother, Parker's room this week when on Wednesday she gets a call from him saying "I get to come home Friday night. Lets get married on Saturday!" (for those of you who dont know, my brother is in the Marines and has been in San Diego and Virginia the last few months for training) So we got to throw a wedding together in two days. The wedding was this morning, it was beautiful even without much planning. Very small and intimate, but all the close friends and family showed up which was awesome!
Although today was AMAZING, this afternoon/evening have been really tough on me. Part of it is being tired, another part of it is just everything else thats going on in my head. Right now I'm sitting here thinking of what to write, with my eyelids trying to close on me, but me fighting them open, along with fighting back tears. It's really tough to do if I do say so myself. I'm sitting here in my room, thinking about what it really means to have a home. This summer while I was in Colorado I really learned that a home really isnt a house, where you and your family live. It's a community; many hearts coming together as one. Its a place where it doesnt matter your background, or where you're at now, it's just a place with love and compassion that you can go to no matter what. I worked in a homeless shelter in Colorado. I feel like the men and women I served in that shelter have more of a home than I do. I honestly dont feel like this is my home anymore. Maybe it's because my family has changed so much this last year, and that's made it tough on me. But honestly, the closest thing to a home I've had these last two years, was when I was in San Diego. I never feel more at home than when I'm in that city.
It's been really stressful this last year with parents deciding to get a divorce, them putting the house on the market, them deciding to give it one more shot, taking the house off the market, them trying to work things out and just making the whole thing terribly awkward, James and Juliette and the kids moving to Tulsa, my youngest (but still older than me) brother joining the Marines which will be moving him all over the place, and now him getting married, and the two of them going to be moving wherever he gets stationed. My family is slowly being torn apart. Part of me feels like my parents really arent trying to figure things out and they're just trying to stick together until I move out. It doesnt feel like a home. It feels like an apartment complex where we just pass by each other every day and say hey how are you, and thats it. It's not us connecting, or us being one heart like a family should be.
I'm trying to stay strong and stay in The Word but it's been really hard for me lately. I haven't been able to figure out what I want to read, so I just get frustrated and end up not reading. I want to read and grow, but I have no one here challenging me to do so or helping me figure out what to read. I really wish I could find someone to read the same thing every week with. It's tough when you're friends you actually talk about spiritual stuff live states away so its hard for you to find time to do that with them.
So all in all it's been a tough night. But i've been able to end it with a glass of Champagne with my brother, new sister, and mom and dad, so it ended up being a good end to a night after all...still wish I felt like I was at home though. I miss being home. I feel so homesick. Be praying for me, that this feeling passes, and that I learn to just lean on God in these times when I'm struggling with being homesick, and not knowing where to go next.
In Christ,
Hannah
Friday, November 26, 2010
God is so good!
It's been a busy past couple of weeks. I have a job now which keeps me VERY busy along with school. I havent been able to go to church on Sunday's the last three weeks, and we will not be having it this week. Its been tough not being able to see and talk with my Lot Family, and I miss them dearly. It has made for a tough past couple of weeks. Yesterday especially. Yesterday was thanksgiving as all of you know. Every year for thanksgiving my family goes out of town to my grandparents house where we eat and enjoy the company of the whole family. I had to work so I couldnt go. I ended up going to my friend Laura's once I got off because my family wasnt home yet and I didnt want to spend thanksgiving by myself. It was just a crappy day all around.
This last Tuesday I got a call from Erin my best friend on the whole planet, check out her blog at http://erinmcgreevey.blogspot.com/ she's awesome! So anyways, we had been talking about her visiting me for a while, and trying to figure out a way for her to come. She calls me on Tuesday morning and says "guess what?? My dad said I can come, and he's going to pay for my flight as my Christmas present!" So now she is coming in town on the 8th, and I am SO excited for that! So later on Tuesday I go into work to ask off for the dates that she will be in. Come to find out that the schedule through the 10th had already been posted, and I worked the 10th from 12-9. A 9 hour shift when my best friend is coming in town from south carolina....yeah that sucks. I looked to see who wasnt working, that day, the only other person off was Dan, and he has asked off which meant...cant ask him. Which means....I had to work it. needless to say...I wasnt a happy camper.
So onto today, I woke up this morning just in a bad mood, I was really groggy and just wanted to sleep, but I had to go meet my friend Justin for lunch. You see, Justin goes to my church, but he's a truck driver so he's on the road a lot of the time. I hadnt seen him in a couple of months, so I really wanted to go get lunch with him. So I got out of bed, got ready, and went to lunch. Which ended up being a great time to just chat and catch up, found out that him and his accountability partner are in the process of memorizing psalms, which I find amazing! Anyone that can memorize psalms is awesome in my book lol. After lunch I went to work and just wanted to go home and sleep. Found my brother's fiance (who works there as well) and started working with her on putting stuff on shelves. My manager walks up to me later and says "the 8th-12th you asked off, if you cant find anyone to work for you on the 10th then you dont have to come it, we'll be fine without you." I honestly said "seriously?? I can have off that day???? You just freaking made my day!" I was so excited that I was able to get off that day! God is so good! So I was in a really good mood the rest of my shift hanging out and working with Ellen (my brother's fiance), laughing, and talking about the wedding. We got done with everything that needed to go on the shelves, and we went and talked to one of the managers to see if there was anything else that needed to be done and he said "all you have to do is face the back of the store and you're free to go" (btw, "face" means to bring everything on the shelves to the front of the shelf, and this was about 2 hours before I was supposed to get off) so Ellen and I were pretty excited about that, got done with the facing, and clocked out. God knew I was really tired today and just wanted to rest, he also knew that I needed off that one day so I could be with Erin. God has been taking such good care of me these last few weeks, and I just want to say, God is so good! I dont thank God enough for everything he gives me. I dont thank him enough for this job that I have. I dont thank him enough for the time I get with my friends and family. I take it forgranted a lot. I never realized how hard it would be missing thanksgiving with my family, but it was really hard! I just wanted to leave work and go to my grandparents and just hang out with everyone. Dont take your time with your family for granted you never realize how much it means to you until it's gone.
Yesterday, Ross, the guy I worked with this summer in Colorado tagged me in this post on facebook. It was really cool, and really blessed and encouraged me and I want to share it with you all. Ross is an awesome guy who really wants to serve God to the best of his ability. I am constantly encouraged by him, and I am so blessed to have worked with him this summer, and to be able to call him my brother in Christ. Here's what he said:
Later yesterday evening I was just in one of my thinking moods. I'd had a rough couple of days and was seriously wondering about several things.
Did my "friends" really care about me; Am I being thankful enough; How can God accept someone who keeps going back to trash?
Eventually in the span of a few hours, I began believing these lies. It's silly how so easily we forget what we've been given.
I do have friends that care for me. I am an extremely blessed man and I don't even realize it. God does forgive me after I yak up all the garbage that I've indulged myself in.
Until later, I gave in and got on here and looked through my messages and found a friend sending an encouraging verse from Philippians. Philippians 4:7, to be exact. So, I turn to it.
Well, so I thought I did. I started reading a section that spoke about clothing ourselves with Christ. That we should be humble and gracious to those around us. We should kill our flesh of the world.
KILL?
But I like myself too much...
I like being comfortable...
I don't like causing a stir...
How many of us actually would say that they do? Not many. But what I read yesterday made so much sense to me. If I "clothe myself with Christ," then none of my fears would matter. What I think and what other people around me think about me doesn't matter.
What matters is what they see. Do they see Christ on the outside of me?
What's interesting here is that I wasn't actually in Philippians at all. I was in Colossians 4. Obviously God wanted me to read this to remind me of what it is I actually profess myself to be.
Now what's even more interesting is this: The passage in Philippians also came from chapter 4. Only this seemed to be a follow up, an encouragement of sorts.
Philippians 4:7 (NLT) - "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Kinda funny, huh?
Sometimes it amazes me just how amazing God really is...
There ya go. Have a good weekend everyone. Remember God is good, and he will always take care of you whenever you need!
In Christ,
Hannah
This last Tuesday I got a call from Erin my best friend on the whole planet, check out her blog at http://erinmcgreevey.blogspot.com/ she's awesome! So anyways, we had been talking about her visiting me for a while, and trying to figure out a way for her to come. She calls me on Tuesday morning and says "guess what?? My dad said I can come, and he's going to pay for my flight as my Christmas present!" So now she is coming in town on the 8th, and I am SO excited for that! So later on Tuesday I go into work to ask off for the dates that she will be in. Come to find out that the schedule through the 10th had already been posted, and I worked the 10th from 12-9. A 9 hour shift when my best friend is coming in town from south carolina....yeah that sucks. I looked to see who wasnt working, that day, the only other person off was Dan, and he has asked off which meant...cant ask him. Which means....I had to work it. needless to say...I wasnt a happy camper.
So onto today, I woke up this morning just in a bad mood, I was really groggy and just wanted to sleep, but I had to go meet my friend Justin for lunch. You see, Justin goes to my church, but he's a truck driver so he's on the road a lot of the time. I hadnt seen him in a couple of months, so I really wanted to go get lunch with him. So I got out of bed, got ready, and went to lunch. Which ended up being a great time to just chat and catch up, found out that him and his accountability partner are in the process of memorizing psalms, which I find amazing! Anyone that can memorize psalms is awesome in my book lol. After lunch I went to work and just wanted to go home and sleep. Found my brother's fiance (who works there as well) and started working with her on putting stuff on shelves. My manager walks up to me later and says "the 8th-12th you asked off, if you cant find anyone to work for you on the 10th then you dont have to come it, we'll be fine without you." I honestly said "seriously?? I can have off that day???? You just freaking made my day!" I was so excited that I was able to get off that day! God is so good! So I was in a really good mood the rest of my shift hanging out and working with Ellen (my brother's fiance), laughing, and talking about the wedding. We got done with everything that needed to go on the shelves, and we went and talked to one of the managers to see if there was anything else that needed to be done and he said "all you have to do is face the back of the store and you're free to go" (btw, "face" means to bring everything on the shelves to the front of the shelf, and this was about 2 hours before I was supposed to get off) so Ellen and I were pretty excited about that, got done with the facing, and clocked out. God knew I was really tired today and just wanted to rest, he also knew that I needed off that one day so I could be with Erin. God has been taking such good care of me these last few weeks, and I just want to say, God is so good! I dont thank God enough for everything he gives me. I dont thank him enough for this job that I have. I dont thank him enough for the time I get with my friends and family. I take it forgranted a lot. I never realized how hard it would be missing thanksgiving with my family, but it was really hard! I just wanted to leave work and go to my grandparents and just hang out with everyone. Dont take your time with your family for granted you never realize how much it means to you until it's gone.
Yesterday, Ross, the guy I worked with this summer in Colorado tagged me in this post on facebook. It was really cool, and really blessed and encouraged me and I want to share it with you all. Ross is an awesome guy who really wants to serve God to the best of his ability. I am constantly encouraged by him, and I am so blessed to have worked with him this summer, and to be able to call him my brother in Christ. Here's what he said:
Later yesterday evening I was just in one of my thinking moods. I'd had a rough couple of days and was seriously wondering about several things.
Did my "friends" really care about me; Am I being thankful enough; How can God accept someone who keeps going back to trash?
Eventually in the span of a few hours, I began believing these lies. It's silly how so easily we forget what we've been given.
I do have friends that care for me. I am an extremely blessed man and I don't even realize it. God does forgive me after I yak up all the garbage that I've indulged myself in.
Until later, I gave in and got on here and looked through my messages and found a friend sending an encouraging verse from Philippians. Philippians 4:7, to be exact. So, I turn to it.
Well, so I thought I did. I started reading a section that spoke about clothing ourselves with Christ. That we should be humble and gracious to those around us. We should kill our flesh of the world.
KILL?
But I like myself too much...
I like being comfortable...
I don't like causing a stir...
How many of us actually would say that they do? Not many. But what I read yesterday made so much sense to me. If I "clothe myself with Christ," then none of my fears would matter. What I think and what other people around me think about me doesn't matter.
What matters is what they see. Do they see Christ on the outside of me?
What's interesting here is that I wasn't actually in Philippians at all. I was in Colossians 4. Obviously God wanted me to read this to remind me of what it is I actually profess myself to be.
Now what's even more interesting is this: The passage in Philippians also came from chapter 4. Only this seemed to be a follow up, an encouragement of sorts.
Philippians 4:7 (NLT) - "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
Kinda funny, huh?
Sometimes it amazes me just how amazing God really is...
There ya go. Have a good weekend everyone. Remember God is good, and he will always take care of you whenever you need!
In Christ,
Hannah
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
It's been a long/interesting/tough/rewarding past couple weeks. Let me explain why.
Two weeks ago my best friend's cousin Jon died in a skydiving accident in Illinois. When it comes to cousins in their family, it's more like brothers and sisters. I knew Jon too, he was a great guy, loved God and wanted to serve God to the best of his ability. I went to the funeral. His family is like my family. It was the toughest funeral I have ever been to. I hated seeing everyone I know and love cry so hard. I had never had my best friend cry on my shoulder so hard. I was able to hold it together at the funeral until I saw and heard Jon's brother Jonah crying. It hurt me to see them hurt that way. That was one of the longest weeks of my life. That's the tough part, the rewarding part is knowing that Jon was a christian, and that he made a huge impact on so many peoples lives while he was here on earth.
Satan has been attacking me and so many people around me that I love. My best friend's family with the death of Jon, and they're afraid that her dad is going to lose her job. My other best friend Erin, one of her friends from highschool died in his sleep last week, and her mom almost died in a car accident, and so many other stuff is going on with her. Also my mom has two friends from highschool and both of them had a kid die the same week as Jon. It's so hard hearing about all of this thats going on. If you havent read Erin's blog, go do so. She's such and encouragement to me, and I'm sure she would be to you too. http://erinmcgreevey.blogspot.com/ I had the pleasure of skyping with Erin today. She lives in South Carolina so it's one of our only ways to communicate. I love talking to this girl, hearing how God is working in her life, and how she's constantly growing is amazing to hear! She's such a wonderful, beautiful, christ-like woman. I love her to death. I cannot wait to be reunited with her.
God's been teaching me a lot this week too. I have my covenant now that I can sign and become a member at the church I've been going to. There's so much on here that will definitely help me grow, but at this point in time I dont know if I'm at the point where I can sign this and follow it. I'm trying to get my heart right before I sign this paper, a covenant is different than a contract. Contracts can be broke, covenants cannot. At least in my opinion, which is why I want to get my heart right before I sign it. Which God has been definitely doing. I'm still failing time and time again, but its getting better in time.
I've been praying for months for God to reveal to me where he wanted me to work. I thought it was brunswick zone but as it turns out, the job I would want there I have to be 18 for. I dont turn 18 until January. I need money now lol. So I was just praying that God would reveal to me where to work. Well I got a phone call yesterday from my soon-to-be-sister-in-law saying that her work was looking for more people (Walgreens, not the best job in the world, but something that would do) I said I'd apply and try it out. Well I had my interview today, and I got the job! I'm even getting payed 25 cents more than normal! Once I turn 18 and I can trained in the photo department then I'll get another raise! God is so good! Now it's time to start working, and pay my bills, and start saving for a car and school!
Everything happens in God's timing. Not my own. I've been praying that God would reveal to me where he wants me to go. I still have no idea where that is. I'm going to be applying to many colleges, and I'm just going to say whichever one I get accepted to and I can afford, I'll go there lol. My dream school right now is Moody Bible Institute. They have free tuition for mission majors, so all I'd have to pay is room and board and student fees, which would be GREAT! My second choice at this very moment is North Greenvile University in South Carolina. It's expensive, but I think I could do it as long as I get enough scholarships. My third choice is Oklahoma Baptist University. It's VERY expensive, but it's a lot closer to these cutie pies:
It's so hard being so far away from them. But I know their mommy and daddy are doing what God has called them to do, and I applaud them for that :) I get to see these kiddos this weekend, and I cannot wait! I'm just scared I'm going to end up having to work.
I've stopped playing guitar for the most part, and I'm starting to get really bummed out about it. I really do miss playing, it's just I have no where to play, and I have to much to do to just sit and play. Yesterday and today I did just sit and play for a little while, but not very much. Since I'm not taking lessons I'm not constantly practicing.
Anyways, yeah, that's whats up. lol. Be praying for my relationship with my dad, this job, and please keep Mike Peppers in your prayers. I believe I've mentioned him on here before, but if I havent then go read my Colorado blog and I know he's mentioned in there. http://hannahcoloradotrip.blogspot.com/
In Christ,
Hannah
Two weeks ago my best friend's cousin Jon died in a skydiving accident in Illinois. When it comes to cousins in their family, it's more like brothers and sisters. I knew Jon too, he was a great guy, loved God and wanted to serve God to the best of his ability. I went to the funeral. His family is like my family. It was the toughest funeral I have ever been to. I hated seeing everyone I know and love cry so hard. I had never had my best friend cry on my shoulder so hard. I was able to hold it together at the funeral until I saw and heard Jon's brother Jonah crying. It hurt me to see them hurt that way. That was one of the longest weeks of my life. That's the tough part, the rewarding part is knowing that Jon was a christian, and that he made a huge impact on so many peoples lives while he was here on earth.
Satan has been attacking me and so many people around me that I love. My best friend's family with the death of Jon, and they're afraid that her dad is going to lose her job. My other best friend Erin, one of her friends from highschool died in his sleep last week, and her mom almost died in a car accident, and so many other stuff is going on with her. Also my mom has two friends from highschool and both of them had a kid die the same week as Jon. It's so hard hearing about all of this thats going on. If you havent read Erin's blog, go do so. She's such and encouragement to me, and I'm sure she would be to you too. http://erinmcgreevey.blogspot.com/ I had the pleasure of skyping with Erin today. She lives in South Carolina so it's one of our only ways to communicate. I love talking to this girl, hearing how God is working in her life, and how she's constantly growing is amazing to hear! She's such a wonderful, beautiful, christ-like woman. I love her to death. I cannot wait to be reunited with her.
God's been teaching me a lot this week too. I have my covenant now that I can sign and become a member at the church I've been going to. There's so much on here that will definitely help me grow, but at this point in time I dont know if I'm at the point where I can sign this and follow it. I'm trying to get my heart right before I sign this paper, a covenant is different than a contract. Contracts can be broke, covenants cannot. At least in my opinion, which is why I want to get my heart right before I sign it. Which God has been definitely doing. I'm still failing time and time again, but its getting better in time.
I've been praying for months for God to reveal to me where he wanted me to work. I thought it was brunswick zone but as it turns out, the job I would want there I have to be 18 for. I dont turn 18 until January. I need money now lol. So I was just praying that God would reveal to me where to work. Well I got a phone call yesterday from my soon-to-be-sister-in-law saying that her work was looking for more people (Walgreens, not the best job in the world, but something that would do) I said I'd apply and try it out. Well I had my interview today, and I got the job! I'm even getting payed 25 cents more than normal! Once I turn 18 and I can trained in the photo department then I'll get another raise! God is so good! Now it's time to start working, and pay my bills, and start saving for a car and school!
Everything happens in God's timing. Not my own. I've been praying that God would reveal to me where he wants me to go. I still have no idea where that is. I'm going to be applying to many colleges, and I'm just going to say whichever one I get accepted to and I can afford, I'll go there lol. My dream school right now is Moody Bible Institute. They have free tuition for mission majors, so all I'd have to pay is room and board and student fees, which would be GREAT! My second choice at this very moment is North Greenvile University in South Carolina. It's expensive, but I think I could do it as long as I get enough scholarships. My third choice is Oklahoma Baptist University. It's VERY expensive, but it's a lot closer to these cutie pies:
I've stopped playing guitar for the most part, and I'm starting to get really bummed out about it. I really do miss playing, it's just I have no where to play, and I have to much to do to just sit and play. Yesterday and today I did just sit and play for a little while, but not very much. Since I'm not taking lessons I'm not constantly practicing.
Anyways, yeah, that's whats up. lol. Be praying for my relationship with my dad, this job, and please keep Mike Peppers in your prayers. I believe I've mentioned him on here before, but if I havent then go read my Colorado blog and I know he's mentioned in there. http://hannahcoloradotrip.blogspot.com/
In Christ,
Hannah
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tough day
Today has been a really tough day for me. This morning I got in a really bad argument with my dad. He even threatened to kick me out of the house. The argument started when I asked my dad how I was getting to class because I had no gas in the van, from going to class and church. All the gas I have been using is from money my friends give me for just that when we hang out and I drive, and I hadnt given any friends rides all weekend so I had no gas. He took that as me assuming he was going to give me gas money, when in reality I was just asking him how I was getting to class whether he could take me, or if I had to find a ride or what. Yes I agree that I could have worded it better, but thats not what I was meaning at all. So I was in a bad mood all day, only good parts of my day was getting a 40/40 on my Soc. paper about Christianity as a sub culture, talking to my friend Erin who lives in South Carolina, she always makes my days better :), and lastly church.
Church really helped me tonight. I knew it was going to. Today I spent probably 97% of it in tears. I was so upset about everything that went on with my dad, that every time I thought of it I ended up in tears or tearing up. Tonight at church, I almost ended up in tears again. At the end of the sermon Marc said that in times of struggle we shouldnt go to the substance, the person, because they will let us down, but instead we need to run to Christ because he will never let us down. He told us to continue this once we got home. He told us to go into our rooms and just run to God, whatever that looked like to us. So I got home, came in my room and just put my face to the ground and started praying and crying to God. I rededicated my life to God tonight. I havent been running to Him for the things I've needed, I've ran to other people instead. Tonight my life is changed. It's still hard of course. Thats just life, but now instead of running to people and substance, I'm going to run to God.
In my last blog I showed you that song, that song is also a psalm. Psalm 51. In February I am planning on getting a tattoo. It was going to be music notes on my side. Now I'm thinking of something out of Psalm 51 that is also in that song. I'm going to edit some pictures with different fonts and stuff of it, and I'll post pictures on here and I want you to tell me which verse and font you like the best.
God is so good, he takes care of you when you need to be taken care of. Dont be running towards those lower case god's but be running to the one and only upper case God.
~Hannah
Church really helped me tonight. I knew it was going to. Today I spent probably 97% of it in tears. I was so upset about everything that went on with my dad, that every time I thought of it I ended up in tears or tearing up. Tonight at church, I almost ended up in tears again. At the end of the sermon Marc said that in times of struggle we shouldnt go to the substance, the person, because they will let us down, but instead we need to run to Christ because he will never let us down. He told us to continue this once we got home. He told us to go into our rooms and just run to God, whatever that looked like to us. So I got home, came in my room and just put my face to the ground and started praying and crying to God. I rededicated my life to God tonight. I havent been running to Him for the things I've needed, I've ran to other people instead. Tonight my life is changed. It's still hard of course. Thats just life, but now instead of running to people and substance, I'm going to run to God.
In my last blog I showed you that song, that song is also a psalm. Psalm 51. In February I am planning on getting a tattoo. It was going to be music notes on my side. Now I'm thinking of something out of Psalm 51 that is also in that song. I'm going to edit some pictures with different fonts and stuff of it, and I'll post pictures on here and I want you to tell me which verse and font you like the best.
God is so good, he takes care of you when you need to be taken care of. Dont be running towards those lower case god's but be running to the one and only upper case God.
~Hannah
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