Community

Why is it so hard for me to just go out into my community and talk to people? I need to be going to coffee shops, malls, parks, my school, anywhere that there's people and just sit and read my Bible and talk to the people around me. Why is that so hard for me to do? I guess I'm just lazy. Right now I'm sitting here on the verge of tears because I'm just so frustrated with myself. I've been wanting to get involved with my community for such a long time. I had never seen before how much this community needs Christ until I started actually becoming apart of the community. I had no idea until I started working, and going to college here.
Ever since I went to San Diego a couple summers back I've wanted to just get involved with the community. My church has been awesome with that, but I havent even been getting involved with what the church has been doing. I'm so mad at myself for it too. I think to myself "no I'm just gonna sleep in, I really need to rest" but the thing is....lately, I've only been getting a couple hours at work a week. The rest of the time I'm either at home, at my friend Laura's house, or church. Not out in the community, not trying to get to know people. I really need to be doing that. I start school on tuesday, I'm honestly really looking forward to this semester. My psychology professor is a christian, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how she teaches, but I'm also really excited about just being able to go up to the school and sit there, study, talk to people, and read my Bible. I know I probably said all of this last semester, but I'm making it a point to do that. I'm just tired of sitting on my butt all the time doing nothing for the Kingdom of God. As I write this, I wish I was sitting in a coffee house instead of my bedroom. So you know what I'm going to do tonight? Go to a coffee house. Probably starbucks cause that's closest to my house.
My work schedule is different every week. It's hard to pick two or three nights a week to go and sit at a coffee house for a couple hours, but i'm going to try to commit to it. Sitting here thinking about it, I dont normally work on Monday nights, I'm going to commit to skipping the bachelor and going to a coffee house after dinner to just sit and read God's word, or study, or write papers, whatever I need to do that night. The second night a week I think will be Thursday's or Friday's depending on when I work.
It's going to be a tough semester, but I'm really looking forward to getting out there and starting to get to know the community I live in. I'm gonna go eat some dinner and go to starbucks.

In Christ,
Hannah

My prayer tonight while i sit in my car on break:

God, i really want be living for you while i'm in school and working. But i dont know what you want me to do. Honestly, i dont know what you want me to be doing with my life period. Show me the way you want me to go. What you want me to do with my life. I know you want me to do missions, but i feel so blind as to what kind of missions. God i also want to pray right now for the men that are around me every day, and the men that i will get to know in the future. Help them grow in you. And help them become spiritual leaders with their family's and even friends. Guide them in the way you want them to go. God, right now i want to specifically lift up john to you. He's having a rough time with his family, and with leaving for afghanistan in february. Keep him safe and close to you. Thank you God for everything you do for me on a daily basis. Amen.