I've been worried about making enough money for this trip to georgia these last few weeks, because I was going to have to borrow a lot from my parents for it all. Then pay them back after my birthday at the end of January.
I've been praying that God somehow would provide work for me before this trip. I've had two babysitting jobs in the last two weeks which has brought in a little over $100, and I have two more this coming week, which last time I babysat for this family for the same amount of time they payed me $60 I believe. Im babysitting for them tomorrow, and Wednesday, for that amount of time, so Im thinking I'll get payed that much.
God is so good! My dad will most likely be getting some business here soon (I work for him as well), and so that will help a lot too.
My faith has grown so much lately, and I feel like my joy is finally coming back, my heart is full again. Doesnt feel empty. God's been so good with taking care of me, and it's reminded me that he is here with me, and that he will take care of me no matter what happens
13 days until I leave! So excited!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
I've been really trying to learn to be joyful about everything, and to not complain. I'm in a homeschool choir in my area, and it's a really good choir, and I have some good friends in it. But I dont like it as good as I did in years past, we have a new director which has taken a while to get used to, my really close friends all graduated so they're not in it. And I havent really enjoyed the music we've been doing. I've been complaining about it a lot these last few weeks of rehearsals, and we had our first performance this afternoon. The very first song opens up with saying "the God who gave us life, gave us liberty" How beautiful is that? That is also a part of the ending of our last song. I've realized lately, that even if you dont like what you're doing, you need to do it with a good attitude and for God's glory, not your own.
Why do I get to complain? When I have a house over my head, food to eat whenever I want, cars, restaurants, clothes, a bed, my own room. When people elsewhere dont have any of this stuff. How is it that a little kid in africa can be so happy with nothing, and us not be joyful, and thankful for what we have. We get upset if our parents get us the wrong kind of ipod, when these kids in these poverty stricken places cant even fathom something like that.
This is something thats really been laid on my heart today. Even though Im not that big of a fan of the music, or not the greatest friends with the people in the choir, even though I hate the uniforms, and the shoes hurt my feet, I should be thankful I can do that. Because when Im doing that with a joyful heart, Im really bringing honor to God. Which is what I want to live for.
Why do I get to complain? When I have a house over my head, food to eat whenever I want, cars, restaurants, clothes, a bed, my own room. When people elsewhere dont have any of this stuff. How is it that a little kid in africa can be so happy with nothing, and us not be joyful, and thankful for what we have. We get upset if our parents get us the wrong kind of ipod, when these kids in these poverty stricken places cant even fathom something like that.
This is something thats really been laid on my heart today. Even though Im not that big of a fan of the music, or not the greatest friends with the people in the choir, even though I hate the uniforms, and the shoes hurt my feet, I should be thankful I can do that. Because when Im doing that with a joyful heart, Im really bringing honor to God. Which is what I want to live for.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Starry night
Here's the lyrics to the song I wrote...no one better steal them! lol. I love it, best song I've ever written I think. And most depressing. Hope you enjoy
Starry Night:
When I look at a starry night,
I think about you and I so high
laying on the dew damp grass
watching as the world passed.
Remembering us wishing on the stars
that flew by so fast
just like the summer past.
Laying in your arms so tight
wishing that, we'd never fight
My heart broke when I went back
to the place we had our starry night
To find you there with her so bright
having your own starry night
wishing on the stars that flew by so fast
just like our summer past
When I look at a starry night,
I think about you and I so high
Remembering us wishing on the stars
that flew by so fast
just like the summer past.
I think about you and I so hight
laying on the dew damp grass
watching the world pass.
Starry Night:
When I look at a starry night,
I think about you and I so high
laying on the dew damp grass
watching as the world passed.
Remembering us wishing on the stars
that flew by so fast
just like the summer past.
Laying in your arms so tight
wishing that, we'd never fight
My heart broke when I went back
to the place we had our starry night
To find you there with her so bright
having your own starry night
wishing on the stars that flew by so fast
just like our summer past
When I look at a starry night,
I think about you and I so high
Remembering us wishing on the stars
that flew by so fast
just like the summer past.
I think about you and I so hight
laying on the dew damp grass
watching the world pass.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Suffering and Joy
The last few weeks at the church I've been going to on Wednesday nights they have been talking about suffering. We're doing a series on 1st Peter. In this book, Peter is writing to Christians that are being persecuted. Hints the suffering.
We're only three weeks in the series and we finished 1st Peter 1:9 last night. Last time this church had service (two weeks ago due to Thanksgiving last week), I left with a heavy heart and some questions. I emailed the pastor, Marc, the next day asking him about Joy and where it came from. I had told him I had lost a lot of my joy, and I am suffering, so where does that joy come from in the suffering, because I need to find that again.
Last night, he put a lot more of where joy came from through suffering in the sermon. It really hit me hard. The passage last night was 1st Peter 1:6-9 and it says " In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
Here's kind of what Marc talked about with this passage, and how he broke it down. This is in my words, but it's pretty much what he had said.
In verse 6 it says that "in this you rejoice," what it's saying there is that when you suffer, when you face trials, you rejoice. It goes on to say "though now for a little while" saying that we do suffer for a little while, but the time of eternity there is not much suffering. "If necessary" is saying that if it is God's will, if it is part of God's plan you will suffer. And it goes on to say "You have been grieved by various trials" Just talking about the trials that we all go through
Now going on to verse 7, it says "so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ"
Im going to try to get this right with what Marc said. He said that when we suffer it's like the refining process of Gold, and this passage is kind of talking about that. When you melt gold the pure gold stays to the bottom and the impurities float to the top, which thats called Dross, whenever the dross comes to the top, someone comes along and scrapes it off, leaving the purest gold. Thats kind of how it works with us and God. Whenever we suffer, we grow in our faith, and get the "dross" scrapped away from our lives.
The next verse goes on to say "Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory"
Marc said something on the lines of that we always seem to try to muster up joy instead of actually being joyful. And that we feel like since we're a christian we have to have this smile on our face and just act like we have joy. He said the ONLY place we can find true joy is from Jesus Christ. In the Teaching Journal they give out every week Marc said "Peter desires his readers to not rest in their own capabilities of "mustering" up joy during suffering, but rather be reminded of their salvation and the hope of a returning Christ." Thing is we cannot be joyful if we dont understand that the only way to be truly joyful is with Christ, and obeying his commands.
The last verse says "obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." So, kind of attaching what I said in the last part and this, since they're a big sentence; in the end you rejoice because you have received salvation. And that should be the source of your joy.
There's this weekly bible reading plan thats always on the teaching journal and today's passage was 2nd Corinthians 7. This passage is amazing! It talks about grief, and joy, and repentance. It's so amazing! I totally suggest reading it.
Also here's the other passages I will be reading this week that are in the teaching journal.
12/4 Phillipians 2:1-11
12/5 Colossians 1:3-14
12/6 Luke 15
12/7 Psalm 43
12/8 Proverbs 10
Marc's message really hit me hard because of that email I sent him. I really needed to find out how to find joy in suffering, because I could not find it. I feel a comfort now. and Im asking God to take away my sin that is keeping me from being joyful. Marc had said that we needed to take a good look in the mirror and just plead with God to take away the sin that is holding us back from joy, and showing God that we love him, that way that "dross" in our life can be scrapped away and we can look more and more like his son. I knew exactly what that was as soon as he said it. And I felt really convicted of it, more than I ever had been, and Im repenting, and going to turn from it.
Man the last few weeks, I've just been so depressed, and down in the dumps because of everything. And that I had lost my joy. Last night reminded me of where my joy should be coming from. Not all this worldly things. Because in the end, God wins, and there will be no more suffering.
With that all said, Im going to go, spend some time with God, and plead that he keeps me from temptation, and that he will help me become more joyful. It has been a tough long journey, but with God, I can get through anything, and be joyful in the process.
In Christ,
Hannah
PS I can release the name of my new pastor now. His name is Ron Smith from Fellowship of San Diego. His church in San Diego was the host church for the guys this summer. Amazing guy! Cannot wait for his first sunday on January 3rd :)
We're only three weeks in the series and we finished 1st Peter 1:9 last night. Last time this church had service (two weeks ago due to Thanksgiving last week), I left with a heavy heart and some questions. I emailed the pastor, Marc, the next day asking him about Joy and where it came from. I had told him I had lost a lot of my joy, and I am suffering, so where does that joy come from in the suffering, because I need to find that again.
Last night, he put a lot more of where joy came from through suffering in the sermon. It really hit me hard. The passage last night was 1st Peter 1:6-9 and it says " In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
Here's kind of what Marc talked about with this passage, and how he broke it down. This is in my words, but it's pretty much what he had said.
In verse 6 it says that "in this you rejoice," what it's saying there is that when you suffer, when you face trials, you rejoice. It goes on to say "though now for a little while" saying that we do suffer for a little while, but the time of eternity there is not much suffering. "If necessary" is saying that if it is God's will, if it is part of God's plan you will suffer. And it goes on to say "You have been grieved by various trials" Just talking about the trials that we all go through
Now going on to verse 7, it says "so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ"
Im going to try to get this right with what Marc said. He said that when we suffer it's like the refining process of Gold, and this passage is kind of talking about that. When you melt gold the pure gold stays to the bottom and the impurities float to the top, which thats called Dross, whenever the dross comes to the top, someone comes along and scrapes it off, leaving the purest gold. Thats kind of how it works with us and God. Whenever we suffer, we grow in our faith, and get the "dross" scrapped away from our lives.
The next verse goes on to say "Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory"
Marc said something on the lines of that we always seem to try to muster up joy instead of actually being joyful. And that we feel like since we're a christian we have to have this smile on our face and just act like we have joy. He said the ONLY place we can find true joy is from Jesus Christ. In the Teaching Journal they give out every week Marc said "Peter desires his readers to not rest in their own capabilities of "mustering" up joy during suffering, but rather be reminded of their salvation and the hope of a returning Christ." Thing is we cannot be joyful if we dont understand that the only way to be truly joyful is with Christ, and obeying his commands.
The last verse says "obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." So, kind of attaching what I said in the last part and this, since they're a big sentence; in the end you rejoice because you have received salvation. And that should be the source of your joy.
There's this weekly bible reading plan thats always on the teaching journal and today's passage was 2nd Corinthians 7. This passage is amazing! It talks about grief, and joy, and repentance. It's so amazing! I totally suggest reading it.
Also here's the other passages I will be reading this week that are in the teaching journal.
12/4 Phillipians 2:1-11
12/5 Colossians 1:3-14
12/6 Luke 15
12/7 Psalm 43
12/8 Proverbs 10
Marc's message really hit me hard because of that email I sent him. I really needed to find out how to find joy in suffering, because I could not find it. I feel a comfort now. and Im asking God to take away my sin that is keeping me from being joyful. Marc had said that we needed to take a good look in the mirror and just plead with God to take away the sin that is holding us back from joy, and showing God that we love him, that way that "dross" in our life can be scrapped away and we can look more and more like his son. I knew exactly what that was as soon as he said it. And I felt really convicted of it, more than I ever had been, and Im repenting, and going to turn from it.
Man the last few weeks, I've just been so depressed, and down in the dumps because of everything. And that I had lost my joy. Last night reminded me of where my joy should be coming from. Not all this worldly things. Because in the end, God wins, and there will be no more suffering.
With that all said, Im going to go, spend some time with God, and plead that he keeps me from temptation, and that he will help me become more joyful. It has been a tough long journey, but with God, I can get through anything, and be joyful in the process.
In Christ,
Hannah
PS I can release the name of my new pastor now. His name is Ron Smith from Fellowship of San Diego. His church in San Diego was the host church for the guys this summer. Amazing guy! Cannot wait for his first sunday on January 3rd :)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Im really excited because I get to go to Georgia the week after christmas. There's a big reunion with people from the summer in San Diego. I'm going to leave the day after christmas and go to Kentucky where my friend Kelsey lives, and drive to Atlanta with her uncle, from there we're going to stay at someones house, most likely Taylors, and stay through new years, and fly back on the 1st. This is something i really feel like I need to do. Just get away with my best friends for a week in a city that I've never been in before.
Thanksgiving last week was great, I really needed that. I went to my grandparents house, and just chilled with my family and ate amazing food! I had been really depressed and that was exactly what I needed to help me with my mood.
Tonight I have church, and im really excited to hear about what God has to teach me. These last few months have been a really tough journey, and I have a feeling they're going to get even harder in the coming months. But Im looking forward to what God will do through all of this and how he will take care of my family.
Im trying to get back into my quiet times, but those are really hard to stay constant in. Especially when you're babysitting 3 times in a week, and have other commitments to hold up. But then again, God should always come first. I guess I just need to try to hold myself accountable with it.
Thats all thats really going on, Im praying for God's guidance, and that he will teach me through this hard time. Im sure you'll hear from me soon, especially if God shows himself to me in some amazing ways tonight at church.
~Hannah
Thanksgiving last week was great, I really needed that. I went to my grandparents house, and just chilled with my family and ate amazing food! I had been really depressed and that was exactly what I needed to help me with my mood.
Tonight I have church, and im really excited to hear about what God has to teach me. These last few months have been a really tough journey, and I have a feeling they're going to get even harder in the coming months. But Im looking forward to what God will do through all of this and how he will take care of my family.
Im trying to get back into my quiet times, but those are really hard to stay constant in. Especially when you're babysitting 3 times in a week, and have other commitments to hold up. But then again, God should always come first. I guess I just need to try to hold myself accountable with it.
Thats all thats really going on, Im praying for God's guidance, and that he will teach me through this hard time. Im sure you'll hear from me soon, especially if God shows himself to me in some amazing ways tonight at church.
~Hannah
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