I've been so busy lately with everything going on in my life, and just school. Here's kinda an update on whats going on in my life, and what God's teaching me.

I finally got my license. Makes me happy. Only thing I dont like is driving our tank of a van around (my family has one of those homeschooler type vans). My brother Paul uses our car all the time, and never really lets me get it. But my brother Parker, being the nice guy he is will let me have the van when i need it, and he doesnt need it or can find a ride to wherever he's wanting to go to, cause he knows what it's like to want to do something, but the other sibling not caring, and just taking off with your only choice for a ride. So, lucky me I get to drive around the tank. I wish I had a picture of it to put on here. I'll try to get one tomorrow.

I got a message on facebook the other day from an old friend of mine. I got pretty excited about it cause I havent talked to this girl in a long time. Come to find out, she was just wondering if I could find a missouri postcard and send it to her cause her school is doing a contest and she needs a postcard from every state. So I gladly said I would send her a postcard. I figure shouldnt be that hard to fine a postcard. I was wrong...
Why is it that there is NO place in St Peter/St Charles that has postcards anymore?? I've looked at so many places! I looked at Walgreens, Target, the mall, Halmark, and even Crackerbarrel! No place has them! Im thinking about seeing if any stores down on main street have any since it's a historical place or whatever with the louis and clark stuff lol. Im hoping they do, because if not, Im just going to give up on this hunt, unless I end up going into the city anytime soon. I will be sending her at least a california postcard so I will be able to help out a little bit (yes I have California postcards but no missouri ones. Thank you San Diego for having postcards everywhere!!)

Saturday was my brother Parker's girlfriend Ellen's birthday. She's a really great girl, I love her to death, her and I have become really good friends since her and my brother started dating. My brother was planning on purposing to her in May when we were all on vacation in South Carolina on the beach. But he just couldnt wait. Saturday morning he went to her house and talked to her parents asking for permission, and that night he went and purposed to her down on main street in st charles, and she thankfully said yes. Im so excited that she's going to be my sister in love. She's a really great girl and they're perfect for each other. The ring she got is gorgeous! My mom had it, and it was a family heirloom from my dad's side of the family. It gets passed down through the sons, and they can use it to purpose to their girlfriends. It's almost 100 years old, and so pretty! My dad restored it about a year ago, and it is amazing!

I got to play in the snow here with my niece and nephew on Monday. It was a really great time. My niece who is 2yrs old would grab a handful of snow and rub her hands together making it all fall out and say "ITS SNOWING!!!" it was really too cute. My nephew who is 1yr old would sit on the ground and just watch us and every once in a while he would smile real big from my niece throwing snow at him. He would crawl around in it, cause he seemed to not be able to find his feet in his snow pants/shoes, and we all just had a lot of fun. When we went back inside we warmed up and I made my niece some hot chocolate. I think the marshmallows were her favorite part. I love those kids, they mean the world to me, I always have a blast with them.
That night my niece and nephew, brother, and sister in law all stayed for dinner, and we had a great time! My niece and I hung out in my room and she would point at different things and ask "hannah whats that?" and I would tell her and she would just respond by saying "ohhhh". Or she would pick up something and tell me what it was. She's so funny cause she knows what makeup is, and what lipstick is. She always goes for that first in my room.
I got to be the first one to paint her nails on Monday, it was really fun. She loved it. After I got done painting hers she picks up another bottle of the nail polish and goes "hannah paint nails?" so I painted mine too...only mine are black and her's are pink :)

God has really been teaching me to fully rely on him for everything, and that I really just need to give it all to him instead of me trying to handle it all on my own. Battles and blessings pretty much describes my life right now. Something was mentioned at church tonight that really kind of hit me. It was that we believe in these bible stories of Joseph, Jonah, Job, Esther, David and Goliath, and that God brought them out of trouble, God helped them through the tough times, and yet we dont believe that God will bring us out of the tough times we experience. I had never thought of that before, and it really hit me.
Sometimes I feel like a fake christian. Whenever I slip up with a cuss word, or i sin with something, go against God's will, lie to my parents. I feel like a fake. But in reality, Im just human. I want people to be able to look at me and say "she's following God with everything that she has. And she trusts him, and tries to honor him" But thats a hard thing to strive for. God is an awesome God, which is why he snet his only son to die for me when I do slip up. I dont want people saying "uh oh she's not a real christian because she just cussed!" I try not to cuss, but there has been those times where it just comes out, and you dont mean it to. I feel horrible when that happens, and I always hope that no one was around to hear it when I do slip up.  People, dont look at christians and expect them to be perfect. Yes we have a higher standard to live up to and we need to try to not sin, and we need to strive to be like Christ, but dont expect us to never mess up. We are human, we are sinners, thats why we have Christ. To cover our sin when we do slip up and mess up.
God's been soing some weird stuff in my life lately. It's like he tears pieces of it down, and builds it back up to make it stronger and newer. But it hurts so bad when it gets torn down. So much crap has gone on these last 5 months, and it's been making me stronger. My life has fallen apart, only to make me stronger. I've come close to giving up on my faith, and just giving up period. But with God I've stayed strong, and I've grown. Its been a tough journey, but I feel like with this new year, it's going to be filled with so many tough things right at the beginning, but in the end of 2010, it's going to be bittersweet. I'll be able to look back and say "yeah that sucked, but I overcame it, and learned from it. Now Im so much stronger in my faith and KNOW God will bring me through anything, and wont throw anything at me that I cant handle" Last year was amazing year, full of stressful/fun/exciting/crazy times, and Im excited to see what happens this year.

Im praying for everyone that reads this. Remember: God is strong, might, gracious, merciful, loving, powerful, and he will bring you through whatever trial you are going through! My heart goes out to everyone struggling. The people of Haiti right now especially. Such a poverty stricken country, and it's so sad that the earthquake had to happen at a time like this. Be praying for them with me. Be praying for the church there that my church has started. I have had the pleasure of meeting the man that pastors that church, and he is so full of love, and I have not heard anything on him and if him and his family are alright. Be praying for them, as they deal with this. It is so hard!

Its getting late, and I work tomorrow, so goodnight, I am praying!

~Hannah