Have you ever had those moments when you know God is trying to teach you something but you're so upset in that moment you're not sure what he's trying to teach you or why?
Yeah I'm in one of those moments.
The last couple of weeks have been really tough for me. Writing things out like I do on this blog is a way for me to cope with things that I'm not really sure how to cope with otherwise. It helps me think things through in a logical way.
You see, my parents are divorced have been for about a year now. My mom has been dating a guy since right after the divorce was finalized. My dad moved out a year and a half ago, and just recently started dating some lady that lives in Illinois. I was never fond of my mom dating someone, but for some reason I've had a harder time dealing with my dad dating. The only conclusion I can think of as to why is because he moved to Ohio and is now planning on moving to Illinois, BUT he wouldnt stay in Missouri where his own kids were.
As of this weekend, I've been having a harder time with my mom's relationship. See, the guy she's been dating has a brain tumor, he had surgery a while back for it and then went through chemo and radiation treatments. It went away for a little while and came back three times the size. He's scheduled for another surgery in two weeks. He's been wanting to get engaged to my mom for some time now, and they finally got engaged last weekend. He then wanted to get married before his surgery in case he's not in good enough shape after...so the eloped on Saturday night...without telling me...I knew it was soon but wasn't sure when so I get a text while I'm at work saying that they got married...and now my mom can make medical decisions for him when he can't, and she now has health insurance which she did not before, and if they're married for a year before/if he passes away she'll get his pension. Which are all very noble reasons to get married. He wants to be able to take care of her even after/if he passes away. Which is awesome. But I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I never thought I would have a step-dad or step-siblings.
Honestly I feel like my parents are trying to replace our family with new/better ones. I know that's completely ridiculous and I shouldn't think that way, but thats honestly how I feel. I dont want to deal with holidays with the step-family and my dad and his girlfriend and her family. I just dont want to have to deal with that.
Honestly I feel completely alone right now. My best friend got married this summer, and is working full time now as a nanny so I hardly ever get to see her. Another girl friend of mine I recently got back into my life left for school yesterday, and then my only other girl friend here lives across the river and I can never afford to go see her and she works all the time. I'm not in school this semester so I have no one to hang out with.
The guy I've liked for years started to show interest in me, and we talked for a while went out on dates and acted like a couple. We were taking things slow feeling it out seeing if we'd be good together or not. We went to a wedding last night together and on our way home we were talking and he feels like God wants him to really test his feelings for me by backing off for a while and seeing if the feelings are real or not...Honestly this couldnt have been worse timing. After my mom getting married, and my friend leaving for school the thing I needed most was him by my side holding my hand saying everything will be okay and that he's here for me no matter what.
I keep thinking back to Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."
It's comforting to know that God is here for me even in these times when I feel alone in everything I'm doing. Knowing that God has promised that he will not leave me or forsake me is an amazing feeling. Though my heart is filled with hurt and my mind is swirling with confusion, I know that God is in control and he will heal my heart and help me know his plan through all of this.
Praying and trusting God right now because that's all I can do....
~Hannah
Monday, August 20, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Temptation
Temptation is a word that makes many uncomfortable because we face it every day. The word is different for every person because we are all tempted by different things. We all have our own weaknesses. Whether it's lust, substance abuse, or whatever else it may be we are all tempted at times.
On Wednesday night my pastor talked briefly about temptation. We're currently going through the book of James. Last night we talked over James 1:9-18, but the part that hit me the most was James 1:12-15 which says
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."
Temptation is something we all have to deal with. Jesus even dealt with temptation. Temptation is not a sin, giving into that temptation is the sin. Jesus never gave into that temptation, giving us the example to follow. Our worldly desires can get the best of us and at times we will give into that temptation. The important thing though is to understand that God WILL forgive you for that! God sent his only son to live a perfect life and die a horrible horrible death on the cross so that when we to fail and sin that we are already forgiven. That way when we are standing in front of God at the gates of Heaven and he looks for our name in the book of life, it will be there. All we have to do is believe and ask him into our life. Amazing!
Man, I dont know about you, but I am encouraged by that passage, and by what God has done. Yes we will be tempted, and yes we will fail and give into that temptation, but because of His grace we are saved! :)
~Hannah
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Trials
I've been thinking a lot about trials lately and how they can strengthen us. Also I've been thinking about how it can encourage someone else watching the way you deal with those trials. What I'm talking about may not make sense to you right now, but I'm hoping by the end of this blog you will understand what it is I'm trying to convey.
You see I've been dealing with some trials of my own the last couple of weeks and with that I've been thinking a lot about past trials and the trials a couple of my friends are going through right now. Honestly, looking back and looking at what my friends are going through is encouraging me through my trials right now. Here's how:
Six months and two weeks ago my beautiful niece, Eden, passed away. Through this trial I watched as my brother's family didn't weaken, but only get stronger through her death. I saw how they drew closer to God, and how they just worshiped through everything. I don't know about you, but watching someone go through that and deal with it in that way is very encouraging. If someone can deal with the death of their daughter through worshiping the God who created her and decided she was too beautiful for the earth, that's pretty amazing.
After the death of my niece, there were many other trials that came and went, and I don't really want to get into what my trials are right now just for the sake of time but they include a broken down car thats gonna cost me over $800 to fix, a guy I've been in love with for two years, and I was sick all last week when I had tons of homework, work, and tests to study for. You can see my delima.
So as I've been dealing with those things the last couple of weeks I've been thinking a lot about Eden, and a good friend of mine who I just found out him and his girlfriend of two years recently broke up. You see, this friend of mine is an amazing young man, he's one of my best friends and I'm constantly encouraged by him and the way he deals with situations that are tough. He truly loved his girlfriend, so obviously he's really broken up about this. Him and I had a conversation last night about this and he was talking about how he knew God had a plan through this, and how he's already seeing God's fingertips in all of it. He also said he was ready for the next step and ready to find the woman God has planned for him because he knows that God has someone planned for him that's beyond his wildest dream. To hear this, I thought back to when this same friend was in the hospital just a year and a half ago with an illness that could have killed him. I started to think about how through that illness he trusted God completely and knew that God would take care of him. Yes he was in the ICU and the first doctor he ever saw was surprised that he was able to survive this illness, but he was completely relying on God through it. I told this friend that I was totally encouraged by him and the way he deals with trials, and how he completely relies on God. In return he told me about how he felt our friendship was a perfect example of how God intends us as brothers and sister in Christ to be with one another, and how that encouraged him, and how me telling him that completely turned his night around.
Can I just say, God is so amazing through trials! His love and desire for us to grow through trials in encouraging. So after all these stories and everything I've been thinking about lately, I am encouraged. I know that God's hand is upon the trials that I am going through and that he has a plan even if I cannot see it. His hand is in the trials you're going through too, dont forget that. I'm going to leave you with a passage from James, it's my favorite book of the bible and this passage has helped me through many trials in my life.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" - James 1:2-4
Count it joy my brothers and sisters. Love you all.
~Hannah
You see I've been dealing with some trials of my own the last couple of weeks and with that I've been thinking a lot about past trials and the trials a couple of my friends are going through right now. Honestly, looking back and looking at what my friends are going through is encouraging me through my trials right now. Here's how:
Six months and two weeks ago my beautiful niece, Eden, passed away. Through this trial I watched as my brother's family didn't weaken, but only get stronger through her death. I saw how they drew closer to God, and how they just worshiped through everything. I don't know about you, but watching someone go through that and deal with it in that way is very encouraging. If someone can deal with the death of their daughter through worshiping the God who created her and decided she was too beautiful for the earth, that's pretty amazing.
After the death of my niece, there were many other trials that came and went, and I don't really want to get into what my trials are right now just for the sake of time but they include a broken down car thats gonna cost me over $800 to fix, a guy I've been in love with for two years, and I was sick all last week when I had tons of homework, work, and tests to study for. You can see my delima.
So as I've been dealing with those things the last couple of weeks I've been thinking a lot about Eden, and a good friend of mine who I just found out him and his girlfriend of two years recently broke up. You see, this friend of mine is an amazing young man, he's one of my best friends and I'm constantly encouraged by him and the way he deals with situations that are tough. He truly loved his girlfriend, so obviously he's really broken up about this. Him and I had a conversation last night about this and he was talking about how he knew God had a plan through this, and how he's already seeing God's fingertips in all of it. He also said he was ready for the next step and ready to find the woman God has planned for him because he knows that God has someone planned for him that's beyond his wildest dream. To hear this, I thought back to when this same friend was in the hospital just a year and a half ago with an illness that could have killed him. I started to think about how through that illness he trusted God completely and knew that God would take care of him. Yes he was in the ICU and the first doctor he ever saw was surprised that he was able to survive this illness, but he was completely relying on God through it. I told this friend that I was totally encouraged by him and the way he deals with trials, and how he completely relies on God. In return he told me about how he felt our friendship was a perfect example of how God intends us as brothers and sister in Christ to be with one another, and how that encouraged him, and how me telling him that completely turned his night around.
Can I just say, God is so amazing through trials! His love and desire for us to grow through trials in encouraging. So after all these stories and everything I've been thinking about lately, I am encouraged. I know that God's hand is upon the trials that I am going through and that he has a plan even if I cannot see it. His hand is in the trials you're going through too, dont forget that. I'm going to leave you with a passage from James, it's my favorite book of the bible and this passage has helped me through many trials in my life.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" - James 1:2-4
Count it joy my brothers and sisters. Love you all.
~Hannah
Monday, January 16, 2012
Or those of you who don't know, my sister in law had a still birth in October. They we due in November and it was very hard on everyone in my family. They named her Eden Grace and they now have pictures of her on their walls. Just 3 months later my other sister in law had a baby girl naming her Kenzie Eden. Middle name obviously after Eden Grace. I just got done with a visit to my brothers which had the still birth and got to see their other three beautiful and healthy kids. I'm on my way home now and I started writing this and thought I'd share it. It isn't really a poem but some would take it as that. It's just my thoughts on her and the situation. When my mom asked my four year old niece if she knew her cousins name she goes "yeah! Kenzie Eden!" and my mom said something on the lines of "that's right!" and Paris responded saying "all is happy again now that Kenzie's here!" I almost cried. She misses her little sister so much and she has pictures in her room of Eden and if you ask her about them she goes "that's Eden, she died. I really miss her, but she's with Jesus now!" this weekend was a great weekend but was definitely a tough one too since that had been the first time I had visited since Eden died. Here's what I wrote
Thinking about the little girl that never had a chance
She never had the chance to grow
To know how much her family loved her
God took her before we even knew her
He saved her from living in a world of sin
She's with him now walking on streets of gold
God had grace on her like he had grace on Adam and eve in the garden of Eden
We all love and miss her
As another baby is born her sister says everything is happy again
Isn't that the truthI?
God gives and takes away
Although he took that beautiful little girl before we got to even really know her
He gave us another little girl to love forever
She has no idea how big of an impact she had on us while she was here
Although when we finally saw her, her soul had gone to be with the Lord
We loved her, kissed her, and held her while we cried wishing she would have had more time
The word Eden used to just be a name of a garden to me
Now when I hear that name I think of her and what she means in my life
When I used to hear grace it was just something that God gave us that we didnt deserve
Now when I hear it I think of her and how through Gods grace he took her home so she wouldn't have to suffer through the things of this world
We love you Eden Grace and we always will, thank you God for giving her to us for that short amount of time. We might not think it was enough time but you're timing is perfect on its own way. Please take care of our little angel for us.
Thinking about the little girl that never had a chance
She never had the chance to grow
To know how much her family loved her
God took her before we even knew her
He saved her from living in a world of sin
She's with him now walking on streets of gold
God had grace on her like he had grace on Adam and eve in the garden of Eden
We all love and miss her
As another baby is born her sister says everything is happy again
Isn't that the truthI?
God gives and takes away
Although he took that beautiful little girl before we got to even really know her
He gave us another little girl to love forever
She has no idea how big of an impact she had on us while she was here
Although when we finally saw her, her soul had gone to be with the Lord
We loved her, kissed her, and held her while we cried wishing she would have had more time
The word Eden used to just be a name of a garden to me
Now when I hear that name I think of her and what she means in my life
When I used to hear grace it was just something that God gave us that we didnt deserve
Now when I hear it I think of her and how through Gods grace he took her home so she wouldn't have to suffer through the things of this world
We love you Eden Grace and we always will, thank you God for giving her to us for that short amount of time. We might not think it was enough time but you're timing is perfect on its own way. Please take care of our little angel for us.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Hurting, Drifting, Thinking.
I'm going to be honest with you right now...I'm hurting.
I feel so distant from God right now.
I've been falling into sin again, and I've been falling for guys that just keep breaking my heart.
The last two guys I've been interested and have been interested in me have turned into jerks, and I dont know what I did wrong.
I can honestly say, I've never faced much rejection when it's come to guys.
But since the last two have rejected me, it's starting to really hurt.
I know I'm supposed to find my worth in God and not the guys around me,
but I've lived that way for so long it's hard to get out of that.
I dont know what's wrong with me and why I cant just land a great christian guy! I'm surrounded by them every week at church, its just all of them see me as a little sister.
Being put in the sister zone is a heck of a lot worse than the friend zone!
You can get your way out of the friend zone, but not the sister zone!
I dont know why I'm hurting so much from this. I really dont.
I haven't spent time with God in so long, I'm starting to feel it.
I haven't played guitar in months either.
I think what I need to do is first thing tomorrow get up and do a quiet time and just worship.
I need to find my identity in Christ again, because I've lost it.
I decided two years ago after my last relationship that I was going to wait to date until I was in college.
Now that I'm in college and there's no one there, it scares me.
I hate not knowing God's plan sometimes.
Okay...all the time.
I've learned not to make long term plans because God constantly changes them for me.
For example, I thought I knew for a fact I was going to go to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago once I'm done at the community college.
But I'm not so sure anymore.
I love my church so much, and a lot of it happens during the school year.
So if I'm not around during the school year I'm going to miss so much of what my church is doing for the community around it.
I hate the thought of being away during the school year.
So I dont know if I'm going to Moody anymore.
But I also don't feel called to any of the christian school in Missouri.
I know God will work it all out in the end, I just would really love answers now.
I only have one more year left at the community college then I'm transffering.
Where to...I have no idea. I just know that I am.
I know I dont want to go to St Louis Christian College, or Missouri Baptist, or Southwest Baptist.
Then I dont know anything about any of the other christian colleges in Missouri.
I could go to Moody without having to pay for tuition. Only room and board and some student fees.
That would be AMAZING!
No other college offers that, and I know I can't really even afford school.
I'm so stressed right now it's rediculous.
My car is crapping out on me, I wont have money for a new one until next year, I dont know what to do about college, I'm sick of my job and not getting hours, and I'm sick of getting my heart stepped on.
The only thing that's going right in my life right now are my friends.
Laura is amazing, I love that girl to death. She's always by my side and I love it. She brings out the weird in me.
Heather is fantastic too! been friends with her since 7th grade, and I'm so glad I work with her now at walgreens.
Then there's Jeanette...oh Jeanette! I love talking to her about our faith and always leave the conversation saying wow!
Lastly, there's my second family. My church family/Lot Family, they're there when I fall, when I feel down, when I need prayer, and when I just need someone to talk to I can text any one of them and they'll be there in a heartbeat. They don't judge or condemn, they just love and want to help in whatever way they can.
I can honestly say, that I am blessed to have the friends that I do. Although I forget it many times, the time I remember, I cant help but smile and think of how amazing they truly are.
Thank you to my friends for always being there.
The last thing I'm going to leave you with is a song that's been stuck in my head. It's called Drifter by Decemberadio. Its honestly how I feel right now, I'm drifting so far away from God where my home is, and I'm constantly trying to get back.
I used to have a home
A place i started from
A place to call my own
Bright lights and late nights
The devil took me on a midnight ride
Left me out in the desert on my own
Now i feel alone
I need a hand
To help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
Trying to find my way back home
To get to you, oh to get to you
Lord i've been gone for far too long
Headed to places i don't belong
And i've got to get back home to you
Sometimes i think about the past
The road that i was on
The one that lead me home
I'll walk on another day
I may wonder but i never stray
Cause i found out the hard way sin don't pay
Now i feel alone
I need a hand
To help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
Trying to find my way back home
To get to you, oh to get to you
Lord i've been gone for far too long
Headed to places i don't belong
And i've got to get back home to you
And when i feel the night is closing in
And i can barely breathe the air
I just remember that i've got a friend
Who really cares
Oh who really cares
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
Trying to find my way back home
To get to you, oh to get to you
Lord i've been gone for far too long
Headed to places i don't belong
And i've got to get back home to you
In Christ,
Hannah
I feel so distant from God right now.
I've been falling into sin again, and I've been falling for guys that just keep breaking my heart.
The last two guys I've been interested and have been interested in me have turned into jerks, and I dont know what I did wrong.
I can honestly say, I've never faced much rejection when it's come to guys.
But since the last two have rejected me, it's starting to really hurt.
I know I'm supposed to find my worth in God and not the guys around me,
but I've lived that way for so long it's hard to get out of that.
I dont know what's wrong with me and why I cant just land a great christian guy! I'm surrounded by them every week at church, its just all of them see me as a little sister.
Being put in the sister zone is a heck of a lot worse than the friend zone!
You can get your way out of the friend zone, but not the sister zone!
I dont know why I'm hurting so much from this. I really dont.
I haven't spent time with God in so long, I'm starting to feel it.
I haven't played guitar in months either.
I think what I need to do is first thing tomorrow get up and do a quiet time and just worship.
I need to find my identity in Christ again, because I've lost it.
I decided two years ago after my last relationship that I was going to wait to date until I was in college.
Now that I'm in college and there's no one there, it scares me.
I hate not knowing God's plan sometimes.
Okay...all the time.
I've learned not to make long term plans because God constantly changes them for me.
For example, I thought I knew for a fact I was going to go to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago once I'm done at the community college.
But I'm not so sure anymore.
I love my church so much, and a lot of it happens during the school year.
So if I'm not around during the school year I'm going to miss so much of what my church is doing for the community around it.
I hate the thought of being away during the school year.
So I dont know if I'm going to Moody anymore.
But I also don't feel called to any of the christian school in Missouri.
I know God will work it all out in the end, I just would really love answers now.
I only have one more year left at the community college then I'm transffering.
Where to...I have no idea. I just know that I am.
I know I dont want to go to St Louis Christian College, or Missouri Baptist, or Southwest Baptist.
Then I dont know anything about any of the other christian colleges in Missouri.
I could go to Moody without having to pay for tuition. Only room and board and some student fees.
That would be AMAZING!
No other college offers that, and I know I can't really even afford school.
I'm so stressed right now it's rediculous.
My car is crapping out on me, I wont have money for a new one until next year, I dont know what to do about college, I'm sick of my job and not getting hours, and I'm sick of getting my heart stepped on.
The only thing that's going right in my life right now are my friends.
Laura is amazing, I love that girl to death. She's always by my side and I love it. She brings out the weird in me.
Heather is fantastic too! been friends with her since 7th grade, and I'm so glad I work with her now at walgreens.
Then there's Jeanette...oh Jeanette! I love talking to her about our faith and always leave the conversation saying wow!
Lastly, there's my second family. My church family/Lot Family, they're there when I fall, when I feel down, when I need prayer, and when I just need someone to talk to I can text any one of them and they'll be there in a heartbeat. They don't judge or condemn, they just love and want to help in whatever way they can.
I can honestly say, that I am blessed to have the friends that I do. Although I forget it many times, the time I remember, I cant help but smile and think of how amazing they truly are.
Thank you to my friends for always being there.
The last thing I'm going to leave you with is a song that's been stuck in my head. It's called Drifter by Decemberadio. Its honestly how I feel right now, I'm drifting so far away from God where my home is, and I'm constantly trying to get back.
I used to have a home
A place i started from
A place to call my own
Bright lights and late nights
The devil took me on a midnight ride
Left me out in the desert on my own
Now i feel alone
I need a hand
To help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
Trying to find my way back home
To get to you, oh to get to you
Lord i've been gone for far too long
Headed to places i don't belong
And i've got to get back home to you
Sometimes i think about the past
The road that i was on
The one that lead me home
I'll walk on another day
I may wonder but i never stray
Cause i found out the hard way sin don't pay
Now i feel alone
I need a hand
To help me find my way back home
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
Trying to find my way back home
To get to you, oh to get to you
Lord i've been gone for far too long
Headed to places i don't belong
And i've got to get back home to you
And when i feel the night is closing in
And i can barely breathe the air
I just remember that i've got a friend
Who really cares
Oh who really cares
I'm a drifter out on a dead end road
Trying to find my way back home
To get to you, oh to get to you
Lord i've been gone for far too long
Headed to places i don't belong
And i've got to get back home to you
In Christ,
Hannah
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
God, Music, and Osama Bin Ladin
This has been an interesting week. I’ve been busy at times, and bored out of my mind at other times. School, work, church, and music festivals have been consuming my time. I go to school 4 days a week, work 3 or 4 days a week, and go to church 2 days a week. Causing my weeks to be pretty full, especially when those 4 days of school have homework that goes along with those days. The music festival was great! More on that later :)
I’ve been trying to read my Bible more, a friend of mine and I are trying to read through the Bible together. We’re not trying to get it done by any certain time because we don’t want to just read it. We want to study it, understand it, and discuss it. This week we’re reading Genesis chapters 6-8. I will be honest with you, I haven’t read any of it yet. It’s been tough for me to sit down and start reading, the reason it’s so hard is because I haven’t been in the habit of reading the Bible every day for years. In Genesis chapter 1 or 2 (cant remember right now which it is) I love the part where God is pretty much having a conversation with himself and he goes “let us create man in OUR image” then he goes on to say that he’s creating man in HIS image...if you find this confusing like I did the first time I read it, here’s what it’s talking about....its implying the TRINITY! How cool is that! This early in the Bible and God is already mentioning the trinity. I love that. Then chapters 4 & 5 chapters are a lot about family line and all that good stuff. Honestly, I’m super excited about reading more of the Bible and getting to know my God on a much deeper level. I’ve tried many times to read through the Bible and failed, but I think this time with doing it with a friend it’ll make it so I will actually follow through with it.
This last weekend (Friday and Saturday) I went to Agape Music Festival in Greenville, IL. bands like Tenth Avenue North, Rush Of Fools, Third Day, Need To Breath, Sidewalk Prophets, and Hawk Nelson played. There were tons others too, but those were some of the big named ones. I went with my best friend Heather and we slept in my mom’s tiny two door stick shift saturn, it was a great night! The highlight of the weekend was when Rush Of Fools played. They were doing the late night coffee house on the second stage. If you don’t know me, I LOVE Rush Of Fools. I’ve been listening to them for probably about 6 years, right before they changed their name to Rush Of Fools (their name was Poor And Wretched for those who don’t know). I also have a friend of mine I met on a youth trip many years ago that is a close friend of these guys, which made me even more excited because I was going to be able to meet them and tell them the connection we had. After the show I went to buy their CD (I have it on iTunes, but couldn’t really bring a burned CD for them to sign), and their bassist was right there so I said to him “I’ve been listening to you guys since your name was Poor And Wretched,” His response was “ooo I’m sorry...we weren’t very good back then” I laughed and replied “I’ve always thought you guys were great. Will Thornton turned me onto you guys probably 6 or 7 years ago” and he goes “oh yeah! Will is a cool guy! How’d you meet him?” and so then we talked for a few minutes, then I went and talked to Wes which is their lead singer. I said the same thing to Wes his response is about the same, and we talk about Will a bit more. Got pictures with him, just an awesome genuine guy. He was talking to us about how they were headed to Alabama on Monday (yesterday) for tornado relief. Which I thought was awesome! He also said to some other fans “ya know we’re just regular people” Which I thought was awesome! They’re so humble and just really great guys. Loved meeting them.
Sunday was a great day, I got to just relax most the day. Woke up, went to Lot Family, came home, rested, went to starbucks to study with a friend of mine for a test we day today, then went to Laura’s house and just chilled the rest of the day. It was really great. Something that I really needed. Once I got home I was talking to my mom about the whole weekend when my brother Paul comes in the room and is like “Osama Bin Ladin was killed” all of us were like huh??? It’s like it’s been 10 years since 9/11 you don’t expect that. So we turned on the news and were watching as the president talked, and then after that just kept watching the news on it. I was laying on the couch and did something I haven’t done in years....I fell asleep on the couch..lol. When I got up I went to bed figuring I’d hear more the next morning whether it was on facebook or on the news. So when I got up yesterday I got on facebook and twitter and was honestly appalled by what my friends, and fellow christians were saying about his death. They were celebrating in the death of a man, yes a very evil man, but a man none the less. A man that has more than likely gone to Hell. That is sad to me. I saw one post by someone that I know is a christian saying something on the lines of “I laugh as Osama burns in Hell” how can you laugh at that?? That’s something not to be happy about. Yes it’s okay to be happy that justice is served, and that this evil man is now gone, but it’s not okay to celebrate someone going to Hell.
I also have been seeing lots of posts on how “YAY THE WAR IS OVER LETS BRING OUR TROOPS HOME!” I’m sorry but the war isn’t anywhere near being over. In fact, they will probably be sending even more troops to Afghanistan now, because 1) Osama more than likely had it planned who would take over Al Qaeda 2) his followers are going to be pissed and 3) there’s still the brain washed child soldiers, and everyone else that has been fighting for him. Our military men are still in danger. My best friend John is in Afghanistan right now, that scares me. My brother is going to be deployed in March, that scares me. Because we don’t know how his followers are going to react. And who’s going to take over. The man taking over could always be even more evil than Bin Ladin. You never know! So as we “celebrate” this victory that the US has made. Please remember our military men in your prayers while they get their orders as to what to do next. Please remember that Bin Ladin was loved by God and his followers, and I’m sure that they both are mourning his death right now. Please remember that we as christians should not be celebrating someone going to Hell. That should break our hearts and make us want to go out and do something about it.
If you disagree with me, I’d love to hear what you have to say.
In Christ,
Hannah
I’ve been trying to read my Bible more, a friend of mine and I are trying to read through the Bible together. We’re not trying to get it done by any certain time because we don’t want to just read it. We want to study it, understand it, and discuss it. This week we’re reading Genesis chapters 6-8. I will be honest with you, I haven’t read any of it yet. It’s been tough for me to sit down and start reading, the reason it’s so hard is because I haven’t been in the habit of reading the Bible every day for years. In Genesis chapter 1 or 2 (cant remember right now which it is) I love the part where God is pretty much having a conversation with himself and he goes “let us create man in OUR image” then he goes on to say that he’s creating man in HIS image...if you find this confusing like I did the first time I read it, here’s what it’s talking about....its implying the TRINITY! How cool is that! This early in the Bible and God is already mentioning the trinity. I love that. Then chapters 4 & 5 chapters are a lot about family line and all that good stuff. Honestly, I’m super excited about reading more of the Bible and getting to know my God on a much deeper level. I’ve tried many times to read through the Bible and failed, but I think this time with doing it with a friend it’ll make it so I will actually follow through with it.
This last weekend (Friday and Saturday) I went to Agape Music Festival in Greenville, IL. bands like Tenth Avenue North, Rush Of Fools, Third Day, Need To Breath, Sidewalk Prophets, and Hawk Nelson played. There were tons others too, but those were some of the big named ones. I went with my best friend Heather and we slept in my mom’s tiny two door stick shift saturn, it was a great night! The highlight of the weekend was when Rush Of Fools played. They were doing the late night coffee house on the second stage. If you don’t know me, I LOVE Rush Of Fools. I’ve been listening to them for probably about 6 years, right before they changed their name to Rush Of Fools (their name was Poor And Wretched for those who don’t know). I also have a friend of mine I met on a youth trip many years ago that is a close friend of these guys, which made me even more excited because I was going to be able to meet them and tell them the connection we had. After the show I went to buy their CD (I have it on iTunes, but couldn’t really bring a burned CD for them to sign), and their bassist was right there so I said to him “I’ve been listening to you guys since your name was Poor And Wretched,” His response was “ooo I’m sorry...we weren’t very good back then” I laughed and replied “I’ve always thought you guys were great. Will Thornton turned me onto you guys probably 6 or 7 years ago” and he goes “oh yeah! Will is a cool guy! How’d you meet him?” and so then we talked for a few minutes, then I went and talked to Wes which is their lead singer. I said the same thing to Wes his response is about the same, and we talk about Will a bit more. Got pictures with him, just an awesome genuine guy. He was talking to us about how they were headed to Alabama on Monday (yesterday) for tornado relief. Which I thought was awesome! He also said to some other fans “ya know we’re just regular people” Which I thought was awesome! They’re so humble and just really great guys. Loved meeting them.
Sunday was a great day, I got to just relax most the day. Woke up, went to Lot Family, came home, rested, went to starbucks to study with a friend of mine for a test we day today, then went to Laura’s house and just chilled the rest of the day. It was really great. Something that I really needed. Once I got home I was talking to my mom about the whole weekend when my brother Paul comes in the room and is like “Osama Bin Ladin was killed” all of us were like huh??? It’s like it’s been 10 years since 9/11 you don’t expect that. So we turned on the news and were watching as the president talked, and then after that just kept watching the news on it. I was laying on the couch and did something I haven’t done in years....I fell asleep on the couch..lol. When I got up I went to bed figuring I’d hear more the next morning whether it was on facebook or on the news. So when I got up yesterday I got on facebook and twitter and was honestly appalled by what my friends, and fellow christians were saying about his death. They were celebrating in the death of a man, yes a very evil man, but a man none the less. A man that has more than likely gone to Hell. That is sad to me. I saw one post by someone that I know is a christian saying something on the lines of “I laugh as Osama burns in Hell” how can you laugh at that?? That’s something not to be happy about. Yes it’s okay to be happy that justice is served, and that this evil man is now gone, but it’s not okay to celebrate someone going to Hell.
I also have been seeing lots of posts on how “YAY THE WAR IS OVER LETS BRING OUR TROOPS HOME!” I’m sorry but the war isn’t anywhere near being over. In fact, they will probably be sending even more troops to Afghanistan now, because 1) Osama more than likely had it planned who would take over Al Qaeda 2) his followers are going to be pissed and 3) there’s still the brain washed child soldiers, and everyone else that has been fighting for him. Our military men are still in danger. My best friend John is in Afghanistan right now, that scares me. My brother is going to be deployed in March, that scares me. Because we don’t know how his followers are going to react. And who’s going to take over. The man taking over could always be even more evil than Bin Ladin. You never know! So as we “celebrate” this victory that the US has made. Please remember our military men in your prayers while they get their orders as to what to do next. Please remember that Bin Ladin was loved by God and his followers, and I’m sure that they both are mourning his death right now. Please remember that we as christians should not be celebrating someone going to Hell. That should break our hearts and make us want to go out and do something about it.
If you disagree with me, I’d love to hear what you have to say.
In Christ,
Hannah
Sunday, April 17, 2011
It's been a while....
...since my last post. Life has been crazy with school and work and concerts and friends.
I must say though, God has been so good to me these last two weeks! Last Tuesday I had a test in my Psychology class, got a 86, our professor on Thursday decides for really no reason to give everyone 8 extra points boosting my grade to a 94! I did horrible on my first test, the second one I got a 92 by God's grace only, and this one I got a 94??? Wow He truly is amazing!
Two Monday's ago my friend Jeanette texted me and said "hey I have a guy I want you to meet, I think you guys would hit it off really well" at the sight of this I was like "ohhhhh great" but I also knew Jeanette wouldnt introduce me to some creepo so I decided I'd meet him cause I figured if nothing else I'd come out of it with a new friend. So I met him last Friday. Needless to say....myself and this guy hit it off very well (thank you Jeanette) we've been texting a lot this last week, and we're going to go on a double date with Jeanette and her boyfriend at some point in time.
Okay...enough about boys....now for my day yesterday when God surpassed all my expectations! I was sitting at home bored out of my mind and I get a call from a friend of mine that I met in one of my classes saying "my pastor gave me an extra ticket to the Mercy Me concert tonight would you like to go with me and my friend Melissa?" (which by the way....Mercy Me concert was SOLD OUT!) I hesitated for reasons that are not conscious to me, told him I'd love to go so he told me he'd pick me up at 6. As soon as I got off the phone with Chris I went out and got our mail, and I had a letter from the school telling me how much grant money I'm getting this next year............I opened it.........read it........holy freaking cow! Are you serious?? Wow God you are SO good! I will have enough money left over to be over half way to a car! That just made me even more excited about the concert because I was so excited about just being able to worship this God that has provided for me SO well! Once I got home I was talking to my mom about the grant money and she tells me "thats only the federal grant...you'll get another one for probably about that same amount from the state" I just wanted to burst into tears at this point with how freaking amazing my God is! He's provided a way for me to pay for school next year AND buy a car next spring! Thank you Jesus!!! Even though with how much grant money I'm getting shows how poor my family is right now....it doesnt matter because God IS providing! I'm so excited to see what else God will be doing for my family these next couple of months/years. He truly is an amazing God!
In Christ,
Hannah
I must say though, God has been so good to me these last two weeks! Last Tuesday I had a test in my Psychology class, got a 86, our professor on Thursday decides for really no reason to give everyone 8 extra points boosting my grade to a 94! I did horrible on my first test, the second one I got a 92 by God's grace only, and this one I got a 94??? Wow He truly is amazing!
Two Monday's ago my friend Jeanette texted me and said "hey I have a guy I want you to meet, I think you guys would hit it off really well" at the sight of this I was like "ohhhhh great" but I also knew Jeanette wouldnt introduce me to some creepo so I decided I'd meet him cause I figured if nothing else I'd come out of it with a new friend. So I met him last Friday. Needless to say....myself and this guy hit it off very well (thank you Jeanette) we've been texting a lot this last week, and we're going to go on a double date with Jeanette and her boyfriend at some point in time.
Okay...enough about boys....now for my day yesterday when God surpassed all my expectations! I was sitting at home bored out of my mind and I get a call from a friend of mine that I met in one of my classes saying "my pastor gave me an extra ticket to the Mercy Me concert tonight would you like to go with me and my friend Melissa?" (which by the way....Mercy Me concert was SOLD OUT!) I hesitated for reasons that are not conscious to me, told him I'd love to go so he told me he'd pick me up at 6. As soon as I got off the phone with Chris I went out and got our mail, and I had a letter from the school telling me how much grant money I'm getting this next year............I opened it.........read it........holy freaking cow! Are you serious?? Wow God you are SO good! I will have enough money left over to be over half way to a car! That just made me even more excited about the concert because I was so excited about just being able to worship this God that has provided for me SO well! Once I got home I was talking to my mom about the grant money and she tells me "thats only the federal grant...you'll get another one for probably about that same amount from the state" I just wanted to burst into tears at this point with how freaking amazing my God is! He's provided a way for me to pay for school next year AND buy a car next spring! Thank you Jesus!!! Even though with how much grant money I'm getting shows how poor my family is right now....it doesnt matter because God IS providing! I'm so excited to see what else God will be doing for my family these next couple of months/years. He truly is an amazing God!
In Christ,
Hannah
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